Marriage Therapy

5 Common Questions About Marriage Therapy, and Their Answers

It started out great, but lately you’ve found your relationship to be more challenging than usual. Maybe you’re simply feeling frustrated. Perhaps it’s simply not as satisfying as you want it to be. Or maybe you’re fighting all the time or even separated from bed and table. No matter the degree of unease, marriage therapy might be the answer to helping you tackle the challenges you face.

Couples counselling is a big step. Here are some common questions that might provide some answers you’ve been looking for:

1. It sounds so serious. Isn’t marriage therapy for when you’re on the verge of a divorce?

Not at all. Couples counselling is a tool at your disposal to help you work on your relationship at any stage of the process. Happy, healthy couples use it to continuously build on the strength of their relationship, as much as struggling couples use it to overcome obstacles.

2. Won’t marriage therapy be like admitting it’s over?

Quite the opposite. Making an effort to overcome obstacles shows a desire to continue investing in the success of your relationship. It shows a willingness to give love and happiness a chance, and a commitment to face your challenges together.

3. What if my spouse doesn’t want to go for counselling?

It can happen that both parties aren’t equally keen or comfortable discussing their relationship with a therapist. That need not stop you. Go on your own. Talk about what bothers you. It might help you work on the way you approach certain obstacles or how you react to certain challenges.

4. How do I choose the right therapist?

It is important to be honest and open with your counsellor. It is therefore important to feel comfortable with the person you choose. This is often a very personal matter. What is important, however, is that you choose someone who has a professional qualification from a respected institute, and experience in dealing with relationship counselling.

5. How do we find the time to both get to a therapist at the same time, in the same place?

Whether it’s a matter of conflicting schedules, different locations, or even active separation, these do not have to stop you from getting marriage therapy. Many qualified counsellors also offer sessions online via Skype, WhatsApp or Zoom.

If you feel you and your spouse could benefit from marriage therapy, but you’re unsure where to start, contact the office of Dr Tienie Maritz. Dr Maritz is a qualified psychologist that is registered as a Counselling and Educational Psychologist at the Health Professional Council of SA and has extensive experience in couples counselling.