What Do Marriage Counsellors Do, and Is It Worth Seeing One?
Relationships are wonderful things, but they are also complex. Maintaining a healthy relationship requires work, commitment and a willingness to learn and grow. The love, security and joy one gets out of a relationship ensures that it is worth putting in the effort to nurture this bond. Yet, we are all humans, facing our own challenges and working on our idiosyncrasies. Sometimes, we need an objective viewpoint, or some guidance to develop into our full potential. The question is, can marriage counsellors really help with this very personal journey?
To answer this question, it is important to look at what marriage counsellors can do for couples, and then decide if this is something that would benefit your personal growth within a relationship, as well as the bond with your partner.
- Improving communication – the ability to communicate clearly and respectfully (which includes active listening) is vital to a healthy relationship.
- Conflict handling – conflict is usually inevitable, so marriage counsellors focus on giving people the tools to recognise and deal with conflict.
- Setting boundaries – this is essential, especially in young relationships where people often neglect boundaries to accommodate their partner.
- Dealing with life changes – whether it is a death in the family, moving to a new town, or starting a family, the changing dynamics in a relationship can sometimes cause unforeseen stumbling blocks.
- Assessing the relationship – sometimes some objectivity is needed to assess the relationship and what the future holds; some relationships are worth rebuilding or maintaining and sometimes a relationship has run its course.
Reason why couples see marriage counsellors
Often, people think that a couple will only seek counselling once their relationship is on the rocks. However, this is not the case. It is often a good idea to see a counsellor when things are going well, in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
Additionally, it is a good idea to see a counsellor when a specific challenge arises, or when you notice that the relationship is starting to develop certain negative traits. These changes, challenges or warning signs could include:
- Having children
- Having different parenting styles
- Infidelity
- Religious differences
- Death in the family
- Trauma
- Illness or disability
- Mental health
- Feelings of anger or resentment
- Excessive criticism
- Feeling indifferent towards each other or the relationship
These are only some examples. If you are looking for marriage counsellors in your area that can help you work on the health of your relationship, contact the office of Dr Tienie Maritz in Pretoria. As a qualified professional in the field, he has extensive experience in couples therapy.
