The Building Blocks of a Healthy Marriage Revealed
Having a partner to share your joys and concerns with can add tremendous value to your life. As George Eliot, the English novelist, once said, “What greater thing is there for two human souls then to feel that they are joined for life – to strengthen each other in all labour, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?” But how rare is a healthy marriage that brings such fulfilment?
At times, it can seem that the majority of relationships are doomed to fail, or that it is only a lucky few that hit the jackpot with a partner that complements them in every which way. But, this is not true. While a healthy marriage may feel like winning the jackpot, there is a much more reliable way of ensuring that your relationship lives up to this potential than merely leaving it up to chance.
American author Ursula K. LeGuin said it beautifully in her novel The Lathe of Heaven: “Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time, made new.” A healthy marriage is built, brick by brick, day by day. And, if you use the correct building blocks, you renew and strengthen your relationship daily.
Here are some of the essential building blocks you need to create a healthy marriage:
- Love – Love takes many forms and can look very different from one relationship to another. There is no right or wrong way, but, ultimately, there must be some sort of connection between you and your partner. Find that connection and celebrate it.
- Honesty – Open and clear communication can help you avoid misunderstandings, unaddressed concerns and unattended emotions.
- Respect – Respect who your partner is – their thoughts, dreams, attitude, values, reactions… all of them. If you respect who you are with, you look forward to being in their company.
- Intimacy – This does not merely refer to physical intimacy, but also emotional intimacy. Be vulnerable in front of your partner – it will bring you closer and make your bond stronger.
- Commitment – No matter what the nature of your relationship is, whether it is monogamous, polyamorous, or asexual, make a conscious decision to be committed to each other, and so many choices in your relationship will come naturally from that point.
- Trust – All of the above go hand-in-hand with trust. When you can honestly and fully trust each other, there is no challenge you cannot face together.
To learn more about the building blocks of a healthy marriage, book a couple’s session with Dr Tienie Maritz.
Sources:
https://www.tieniemaritz.co.za/
https://www.adobe.com/express/learn/blog/marriage-quotes
https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/6-essential-elements-of-a-strong-and-healthy-marriage-0818164
