Your Questions Answered About Marriage Therapy

Is your marriage on the rocks? Trying to avoid divorce? Nowadays, there really is no such thing as a smooth sailing marriage. Mistakes happen, lives get turned upside down and marriages end in divorce. Whether it’s because of addiction, debt and mismanagement of finances, lack of communication, or emotional and physical abuse – many couples often believe that divorce is the only solution. But that’s not true. If you have a marriage that is worth saving, then the best thing you can do is to seek marriage therapy. But couples often wonder whether marriage therapy works or if it will work for them, so to get a better understanding of what you can expect, we’ve answered the top 2 questions about marriage therapy.

 

Can Marriage Therapy Save My Marriage?

Just like a broken heart, there is no “magic pill” that can fix a broken marriage, and the answer to this question depends on the depth of your marital problems, your love for each other, your willingness to change, and how well you respond to marriage therapy. It is quite common for couples to shift the blame on to each other while defending themselves as the perfect partner. In truth, there is no such thing as the perfect couple or the perfect partner, and defensiveness and projection of blame can be fatal.

It’s also important to keep in mind that there are many instances where couples in marriage therapy realise that their relationship has become extremely toxic and for the sake of the children and to salvage what is left of their relationship they need to end their marriage. But if you’re a couple that truly love each other and want your marriage to work, then you’ve got a recipe for a lifelong happy union, in which case marriage therapy will be extremely beneficial.

What is the Primary Role of Marriage Therapist?

Firstly, and most importantly, it must be understood that there is no winner or loser in marriage therapy. Secondly, it must also be understood that a good marriage therapist will never judge or take sides, and will always tackle issues with an objective stance. A saving grace to couples who want to save their marriage, the primary role of a marriage therapist is to merely guide and arm couples with the right tools to understand their unique problems. By providing instruction, coaching and feedback to help you improve your marriage, a marriage therapist will help you take a good hard look at your actions and help you eliminate challenges, obstacles and destructive behaviours so you can become better listeners, improve your communication and learn better positive ways of supporting and loving one another.

 

 “A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” – Dave Meurer

 

Marriage can be a fairy tale, but even fairy tales have its fair share of ups and downs. Just like everything in life with ups and downs always comes growth – work through the growing pains and you’ll benefit from a happy and smooth sailing marriage afterward. Whether your marriage has just only started or already on the rocks – to get your marriage back on track, consult to a marriage therapist about marriage therapy today.

A message from Dr Tienie Maritz

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