Marriage Counsellors in Pretoria Advocate Solution Not Dissolution
The growing tendency for husbands and wives to go their separate ways when their relationship is showing signs of failure is a worldwide one, and one that has in recent years become far more prevalent in South Africa. With as many as one in every five married couples electing to divorce, of which a growing number are middle aged or older and have spent many years together, there has been a parallel decrease in the popularity of matrimony. Many more couples are now choosing to simply live together without formalising their relationship and, very often, they will proceed to start a family before even considering the traditional alternative.
It is likely that the strength of any relationship will, on numerous occasions, be faced by challenges, some of which one or both partners may be responsible for, as well as those resulting from external circumstances over which they have little control. Marriage counsellors in Pretoria have become increasingly distressed by the number of those whose relationships could have been saved and strengthened if only they had been the ones contacted for help, rather than one of the city’s innumerable divorce attorneys.
In the flush of new love, few stop to fully consider the implications of spending the rest of their lives together. While initially eager to please one another in every way, life has a way of intervening and placing obstacles in our paths. It is in dealing with such obstacles that love and the strength of a relationship comes under test. In such circumstances, reactions are often inappropriate and counterproductive, with couples choosing to allocate blame and to express disapproval, disappointment or anger, rather than cooperating to seek solutions. Without the intervention of professional marriage counsellors, all too often, couples are choosing to escape from their conflict, rather than to find a way in which to resolve it.
In the past, it was common practice to include the term “guidance” in the title of these practitioners whereas, in fact, this is not the role that they fulfil or which is responsible for their success. Each of us, in some way, tends to contribute to most of the problems that confront us. While we may not be the direct cause of a problem, our response and attitudes to it, albeit unwittingly, will frequently serve to exacerbate it, rather than to alleviate it. Once two people with differing response patterns are faced with the same problem, conflict is inevitable and must be resolved, if not through consensus then, through compromise.
The cost of a divorce is not just measured in rands and cents. Although the attorney’s fees, alimony and child support can be costly, grief, regret, loneliness, the pressures of coping as a single parent and many other aspects of this life-changing transition can also exact their toll. A few sessions with a good marriage counsellor can not only prove cheaper, but could spare a mountain of emotional pain.
Dr Tienie Maritz, in Pretoria, is a leading psychologist in his field with around a quarter of a century of experience in relationship counselling. With his help, you and your partner could enjoy a new and more fulfilling life together, rather than struggling to do so when apart.
