The Four Horsemen

World-renowned researcher on marriage and relationships, Dr. John Gottman, discussed the four negative patterns that often sound familiar to fighting couples. According to him, these four elements predict divorce, and he called it “the four horsemen of the apocalypse.”

criticism

1.  Criticism: Gottman says criticism is “really a way of fueling the attack, so you state your complaint as an attack on the other person.” He noted, “It’s not constructive, it winds up leading to an escalation of the conflict.”

contempt

2.  Contempt: “Not only is contempt the best predictor of divorce, because it’s really… Continue reading

How to Keep Love Going Strong

Why is marriage so tough at times? MarriedWhy do some lifelong relationships click, while others just tick away like a time bomb? And how can you prevent a marriage from going bad—or rescue one that already has?

After years of research, we can answer these questions. In fact, we are now able to predict whether a couple will stay happily together after listening for as little as three hours to a conflict conversation and other interactions in our Love Lab. Our accuracy rate averages 91 percent. Gay and lesbian relationships operate on essentially the… Continue reading

stocktakeTaking Stock of your Marriage

Of course, there’s more to a lasting marriage than disagreements. To foster stable marriages, couples need to continually celebrate those areas where they can come together, and not let their inherent differences pull them down. To be sure, any marriage is made up of two individuals with differing needs, tastes, and interests. And you may wish at times that your partner was different— more outgoing or less social, more intellectually minded or less bookish, more this or less that. But you get into trouble when you try to re-create one another to fit your own… Continue reading

Underachievers (Part 1)

DEFINITION of UNDERACHIEVEMENT

School boy sitting at desk in classroom sleeping over his workResearch estimates that fifty percent of high ability students do not “achieve well”. Most educators categorize gifted underachievement as a discrepancy between potential (predicted achievement) and actual achievement and/or as a failure to develop or use potential.

The typical difference between a low achiever and a gifted underachiever is the gifted student’s ability to score high on standardized achievement tests. Therefore, gifted underachievement relates more to everyday classroom performance. Underachievement can vary among situations and subjects. Students who achieve in one context may not perform as well in another. Parents and teachers must intervene… Continue reading

Probleem-ouer, probleem-kind of probleem-onderwyser?teenager_1363296c

Die sogenaamde “nuwe” benaderings in die huidige onderwyssituasie laat ouers dikwels in moedeloosheid vra: “Wanneer hou ‘n ouer dan ooit op skoolgaan?” Die antwoord is eenvoudig:”Beslis nie terwyl jou kinders nog skoolgaan nie!”

Die konstante veranderinge in die benadering tot leerstof binne die onderwysstelsel, laat ouers en onderwysers dikwels “buite beheer” voel.   Die maklikste uitweg is om die kind aan sy eie heil oor te laat.

Hoe om kinders groot te maak het nie ‘n perfekte resep nie, maar dit bly hoofsaaklik ouers se verantwoordelikheid. Daarom bly die ouer die kind se “life-coach” dwarsdeur… Continue reading

Living a full life

Life's enjoyment

Living a full life means that we give meaning to life events as we undertake the worlds journeys in our own unique way. In an effort to understand the world we live in, we tend to encounter problems in our everyday life which actually slows us down. This gives rise to feelings and/or thoughts which could lead to positive outcomes or the opposite.

To explore our inner being is an act of trust. To find ways of improving insight and understanding of our human interactions and the way we interpret life events could become the words… Continue reading