Pre-Marital Counselling: Why You Need it and How it Can Ensure a Long and Happy Marriage

Are you unsure if you want a professional’s observation, opinion, evaluation or advice about your relationship? Many people find that pre-marital counselling is not necessary, and you can hardly blame them. Who wants a stranger sticking their nose into your relationship and making you open up about personal things that you’ve never really spoken about, or that you don’t feel are relevant.

Unfortunately, divorce is so common and widespread in South Africa today that South Africa has finally earned itself a place on the map of matrimonial woes. Last year, divorce statistics released from Statistics South Africa showed that there are more couples getting divorced than there are getting married.

Marriage used to be a holy and sanctified tradition between two people who swore in front of hundreds of witnesses that they would stay by each other’s side through sickness and death. Regrettably, marriage isn’t always a fairytale, and once the honeymoon is over and life settles in, the cracks start to appear.

Whether it’s adultery, alcohol abuse, debt, dishonesty, financial negligence, abuse, lack of communication, unrealistic expectations, or a lack of sexual intimacy, there is a laundry list of factors as to why couples part ways. Given that there are more couples getting divorced than there are getting married, one of the best things you can do to help keep your marriage together is to enter into pre-marital counselling before it begins.

Think of it this way: if you’re like the average educated modern woman or man, you’ll understand that options, advice and opinions are a good thing. If you spend weeks getting the opinion of all your mates before buying the right car, or you spend days juggling the opinions of others as to whether you should choose a red vinyl mid-century couch or a monochrome leather modular sofa – why are you so afraid of getting advice when it comes to your relationship?

What is Pre-Marital Counselling?

Many people think pre-marital counselling is only for engaged couples who are experiencing relationship issues, but according to research, pre-marital counselling can greatly improve a couple’s chance of a long and happy marriage. As a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for a strong, healthy and happy life-long relationship, pre-marital counselling helps couples explore important and complex issues. Couples also learn how to communicate and resolve any conflict about money, sex, in-laws, parenting and religion. Couples should feel like they are starting their life and marriage on the same page.

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” – Dave Meurer

Whether you’re a couple who is committed to marriage in the near future, or you’re an engaged couple with a few issues you’d like to work through, pre-marital counselling offers many benefits. From allowing couples to discover new things about themselves and building communication skills, to helping couples plan the future, and providing an opportunity for addressing issues, pre-marital counselling ensures a greater chance for a stable and satisfying marriage.

A long, healthy and happy marriage doesn’t just happen. A long, healthy and happy marriage takes two people to make it work. If you believe your marriage is worth fighting for, then turn to Dr Tienie Maritz for pre-marital counselling.